Transcript from the Jeremy Sarber program – 12.15.09

Yesterday on the program, I read to you an essay written by my friend, the Reformed Liberal, Tessla. The essay was titled, The Unwanted Solution: The Benefits of Abstinence. Tessla provided such a wonderful and well-researched perspective on the subject of abstinence. It only makes sense that if we want to avoid the natural consequences of sex, we should avoid sex. It does not take a religiously convicted mind to believe in such a practical solution to this simple problem. Even the most devoted believer of Darwinism should agree that sex is naturally designed for the purpose of procreation. Someone might be tempted to include pleasure in the list of reasons for sex, but even if that is true, the potential consequences cannot be denied.

While I applaud the innovation of mankind, no matter what we have created to avoid the consequences of sex, none of our creations are 100 percent effective. No birth control, condom or otherwise can entirely avoid pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. The only means by which to entirely avoid these consequences is abstinence.

The common response to such a reasonable answer to the problem is that it is far too unrealistic. To quote Tessla, “A frequent argument against abstinence is that the idea is ‘unrealistic’ in our society. It is precisely for this reason why abstinence is unrealistic. It seems obvious to me that any idea that is deemed ‘unrealistic’ is doomed for failure.” As we continue to ignore the only logical answer to this problem, the birthrate among unwed women has increased from 5 percent in 1960 to 40 percent in 2008. The CDC published a study last year that said 1 out of every 4 teenage girls in this country has an STD. It should be quite clear that safe-sex education is not working.

Is that to say abstinence-only eduction is absolutely effective? No. That would be an absurd notion. Man’s nature is man’s nature. It is a natural impulse to do what pleasures the flesh when the opportunity presents itself. It is also natural to avoid the consequences of our actions. This is why the carjacker runs when the police attempts to pull him over. This is why the child hides when he/she knows a parent has discovered his/her wrongdoing. This is why people lie when confronted about their indiscretions. Does that mean we should remove the consequences for the carjacker, the child, or the committer of indiscretions? Of course not.

There are also other influences on our youth that ought to be considered. First, education during growth and the development of maturity also play a role. Second, popular culture must be included in the influences over our children. This includes television, music, and their peers. These elements combined with our human nature create an almost impossible formula for ridding the world of premarital sex. Even so, that is not to say we should give up the fight. This only means we should fight harder. Given that so much works against our children and our society, we should do what little we can to avoid sex before marriage and the consequences that result from it.

Let me provide you with a few practical examples of what we can do. The only combatant against human nature is self-discipline. Self-discipline can only be achieved through education and personal conviction. That means the child must be exposed as consistently as possible to the teaching of right and wrong which confirms that premarital sex is wrong. This moral standard should be provided by parents and by the schools. The trouble comes when schools are inconsistent, either with the parents’ alternative teachings or they provide dual lessons. They may teach abstinence as the most effective method of avoiding pregnancy, STDs, and other problems, but they may also spend as much time if not more teaching our children ways to have the safest sex possible. That inconsistency leaves room for a child to believe in the lesser of two choices. In other words, it diminishes the positive and morally sound influence on that child.

Unfortunately, there are not too many counteractions to popular culture. We can only go so far in limiting what is shown on television and heard on the radio. I am a strong proponent of free speech and expression. I do, however, support stricter regulations by the FCC on what can be shown on television networks, not including the cable stations. The same goes for radio. Since that is not likely to happen, the most we can do as parents is limit what our children are allowed to watch and listen to.

When it comes to government, the only role our government should have is in providing incentives to people for making the most responsible decisions or, at least, removing incentives that motivate people to make the wrong decisions. This is often not the case for government. For instance, if someone loses their job, they can draw unemployment. If a big business fails, the government may very well bail them out. In the case of an unwanted pregnancy, the government has made it legal to kill the unborn child. If a woman has a child or even multiple children out of wedlock, she can receive benefits from the government. Sometimes those benefits are a greater incentive than being married to a working husband. Some may call that compassion on the part of the government, but compassion which gives a drunk the means to increase his drunkenness is counter-productive. Compassion which breeds debilitating dependency and weakness is counter-productive. Compassion which smothers the instinct to strive and excel is counter-productive. In fact, it is not compassion at all when the grand scheme is considered.

In short, we will never successfully rid our society of premarital sex and the consequences that result. We can and should, however, continue to fight it. To quit teaching abstinence only in schools amounts to giving up. To teach children so-called “safe sex” instead of abstinence, which is the only reasonable way to avoid pregnancy and STDs, only provides more incentive and indirect encourage to children to have sex before they are married. We should also put a stop to every incentive provided by the government. Our world has always had premarital sex, but at least there were times when there was shame attached to it. There were times when abstinence was popular. While we may never return to those days, we should do all we can to try.