In California, the place where hippies go to be hippies, the California Coastal Commission has issued a ban on fireworks this Independence Day. Why, you ask? Because fireworks scare birds. I am not making this up.
“Fireworks are fun to go to, but I’m not comfortable with that when I know that it’s disturbing birds in the middle of nesting,” said Diane Hichwa, who belongs to the Madrone Audubon Society.
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. For once, I’m not horrified or disgusted though. I’m just plain stupified. I know the environmental nut jobs out there have some really wacky ideas, but now they’re just hitting the bottom of the barrel.
I can give some leniency for the global warming conspiracy because they’re talking about saving the entire planet and mankind while they’re at it. But a ban on fireworks, which have been shot off at this time of year for many, many decades, because they scare birds is ridiculous. What do they think the birds did before now?
A few days ago it was dark outside so I creeped up behind my 5-year old nephew and…gasp!…scared him. I should be arrested. Oh, no wait. I forgot that we don’t actually care about people anymore. You can scare all the people you want (which environmentalists are quite good at). We’re only concerned with the welfare and comfort of the poor birds.
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Yeah… You’re right. It’s hard to get mad about this one. Just chuckle.