I will try and control my laughing as I approach such a serious subject as cannibalism. Ted Turner, global warming doomsayer, has a new prediction for us all. Listen to this:

Notice how precise his prediction is. He even corrects himself after saying it will be 8 degrees hotter after 10 years. Whoops. He didn’t mean to say 10 years, but 30-40 years according to his scientific and professional opinion. After this time, crops will fail to grow and we will begin eating one another. That is, those of us who are still alive. I don’t know what Mr. Turner is planning but he apparently intends to still be alive. He said, “…and the rest of us will be cannibals.” Come on. You have to be laughing with me by now.

Here’s the best part. Ted predicts global warming will cause a lack of food which, in turn, leads us to cannibalism. That would certainly be a terrible situation. So, what’s his grand solution for the global warming? He says, “We have to stabilize the population. That’s why we have global warming because too many people are using too much stuff.” Okay, we need to stabilize the population. I know! Let’s promote cannibalism! If we’re eating one another that will surely stabilize the population. According to Ted, this problem will correct itself. Too many people will cause global warming which will cause cannibalism which will cause less people which will help in the original global warming problem. Problem solved.

I personally believe Ted Turner is only trying to promote cannibalism. Maybe somewhere in his travels he had the opportunity to taste human meat and he really liked it. There is surely a reason for all of the slaughter houses and ranches he’s been buying all over the country. You would think he only plans to use cow meat but why would he do that if he’s truly worried about global warming? (I refer you back to An Inconvenient Toot.)

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